yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
