im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
