i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
