i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
