what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
