My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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