when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
