oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
