I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
