you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
