no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
smell my finger.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
