I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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