Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
