in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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