I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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