Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
