Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
