We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
