why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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