I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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