Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
