Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize