remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I touched a dick in church today
Sex in the backyard? Check.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
God, I missed his penis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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