One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
