she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
