i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize