but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
