I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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