don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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