Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
