I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
