Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
