KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
