the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
