Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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