apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
