Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
