Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
