Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize