This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
