i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
