Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
