Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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