You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize