You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
