so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
