If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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