That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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