Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
