have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
