I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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