I'm gonna have a badass scar
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
