dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
