I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
