He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
