I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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