some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
